A Steeplechase called Life

We all face numerous obstacles in our day to day lives- big and small -which block our way to reach our dreams and achieve all that we wish for. None of us can claim that life has been a bed of roses for him/her – we all have had our share of thorns too.

But that is the challenge – to overcome these obstacles and be victorious in the battle of life. Of course, it is easier said than done. Many of us let these problems overshadow us and we surrender ourselves to them – in many cases – without even putting up a fight. After all – it is easier to curse our fate and cry on our failures than taking on the bull by the horns. That , my friends takes real guts- to cross over the hurdles of life and emerge a winner- just like steeplechase is the most difficult of the lot in athletics.

So many times I have found myself cribbing about little things. As a child it was some dress or toy that I wanted, as I grew older it was good marks, a good job- now it is a big house, a grand car and then I'm reminded of a little story my mom once told me about a little boy who complained he had no shoes till he saw a man who had no feet. It was a very touching story and inspires me till date. How selfish man has become- instead of thanking God for all his blessings and for all that he has given us- what do we do- crib about the little things that we don't have.

There are some great people in the world who showed immense courage in the face of adversity and did not let their disabilities pull them down. One such person was Hellen Keller – the American author, political activist, and lecturer, who was the first deaf - blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree. Helen was born a healthy child, but lost her eye-sight and hearing ability to a mysterious illness at the age of 6 months. The story of how her teacher Anne Sullivan, herself visually impaired taught Helen and helped her move out of her dark world into the brightness of education and knowledge is a story that miracles are made of. After the initial struggle, Sullivan managed to teach her the first word. As Helen later recalled in her autobiography 'The Story Of My Life ' "We walked down the path to the well-house, attracted by the fragrance of the honeysuckle with which it was covered. Some one was drawing water and my teacher placed my hand under the spout. As the cool stream gushed over one hand she spelled into the other the word water, first slowly, then rapidly. I stood still, my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten - a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that "w-a-t-e-r" meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free! There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away." The 21 year old Sullivan worked out an alphabet by which she spelled out words on Helen's hand. Gradually Keller was able to connect words with objects. In 1904, at the age of 24, Keller graduated from Radcliffe, becoming the first deaf blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.


She is a hugely inspirational figure for everybody- a great example of how one can achieve one's goals with determination and endurance. It is remarkable how she achieved with her disability what many of us cannot, with all our abilities. Maybe it is because she concentrated on her abilities and put them to good use instead of grudging about what she lacked.
Keller's life has been interpreted many times through books, articles, documentaries and movies, a popular one being 'The Miracle Worker' which is based on her autobiography. The hugely popular and critically acclaimed Bollywood movie Black (2005) was largely based on Keller's story, from her childhood to her graduation. She is a role model for many more people like her who refuse to give in to their fate and who believe that anything can be accomplished if one has the grit and compassion to persevere. There is so much that we can take in from her story - the spirit to cross the hurdles of life - just like a steeplechase. As Helen herself has said -

“The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome."

Happy Father's Day!

As I lazily got up late on a rainy Sunday morning, and picked up the newspaper, articles about Father’s day spread across the edition caught my eye. Famous fathers and famous children with their special plans on Father’s day were spread all across. I reached out to my phone and wished mine. Afterall, he may not be famous for the world, but he means the world to me. Did I miss being with him on father’s day? Well, I miss him everyday since I left the house to start a job.

Today is the day dedicated to fatherhood- that special but relatively underplayed emotion. Underplayed because men, by convention are expected to be a bit lacking on emotions or per say – the show of it. Also, as I hear from earlier generations that the relationship between fathers and their kids was much more formal at that time. Fathers were to be talked to in hushed tones- that too only when absolutely required. And while mothers spoilt their sons/daughters, fathers were strict disciplinarians not be messed with. What they said was ‘pathar ki lakheer’ and kids couldn’t dare argue with them. Gradually times changed and so changed the father/kid equation, what with the concept of the metrosexual male catching up. Something which has remained same across generations is the fact that a father is every child’s hero. Every kid looks upto his father and idolizes him. Sons aspire to be like their dads when they grow up and daughters always look for their dad’s qualities in their life partner. While fathers may not usually look after the physical needs of a child like the mother does, he has a huge part to play in the emotional growth of his children. What a big responsibility fathers carry on their shoulders!

Luckily, I share a wonderful, friendly relationship with my father. Baba has been my best friend all these years. People often say that a father-daughter relationship is a strong and special bond- how true! Fortunately, he has always encouraged an open communication, has always been ear for whatever I had to say- sensible or rubbish. As a kid, I used to wait for him eagerly to return from office so that I could share with him school anecdotes. Even after a tiring day at work, he would listen to them with full attention and give his valuable comments here and there. The ritual has survived till today – the difference being that now I come from office and the conversation happens over the phone. He has tolerated so many tantrums that I threw, tried to fulfill every wish I had.I believe he still sees his little girl in me - what with him recounting all the little things I did as a child even today.My father has been a great support for me. He has taught me to differentiate right from wrong, to stand by my values, to work hard and be honest. I have grown up absolutely clinging to the mindset- 'What father does is always right' and have learnt from him how to take my own decisions and stick to them.Our relationship is even more special because he has played the dual role of mother and father for most part of my life. He has made a lot of sacrifices for me, retired from his job early to look after me. He has been dad,mom,sibling,friend – all in one for me. 

Father’s day being a relatively new concept in India, my father and many of his like are quite unaware of it. Still my father feels good when I wish him. I know its not a special occasion for him, coz he hasn’t known an occasion like this for most part of his life, but surely it feels good to have a day dedicated to you – a recognition from the world for what you have done. There’s nothing special that we do this day, since we are far apart. So I try to make whatever time I get with him, special and memorable. He is my hero after all and I  am his little princess.I really really love him lots! He surely deserves huge accolades on this day and everyday!

The Complexion Complex

‘The ugly Duckling’ – the famous fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson is very close to my heart. It is the story of a baby swan misplaced among a bunch of ducklings that is ridiculed, mocked and ignored for its ugly grey wings. I related so much with the story. I have a wheatish complexion and was a misfit among my fair cousins just like that duckling. Wherever I went, people would make sneer comments at my complexion. They would ask my mother; how come I was dark when she was so fair. There were comments like ‘She has good features - just that she’s wheatish’ or ‘cute girl, would have been nice if she was fair too.’ My cousins would tease me with all sorts of songs and jingles that they could think of. Ladies in the family would suggest my mother all sorts of concoctions to improve my complexion.  I felt bad and just wished God had bestowed me with fair skin.

My grandma gave me the example of Krishna who was dark, yet so popular and I would feel a little better. I used it as my defense to the jibes of the fairer breed. As I grew older, there were remarks on how difficult it would be to find a good groom for me due to my skin shade. Gradually I got used to remarks on my complexion. They didn’t bother me that much. I realized it was not the whole-sole of my personality. I’m sure many of you, who have not been blessed with a clearer complexion like me, must have faced similar situations living in the shadow of fairer parents, siblings or friends. Some people outgrow their complex while others struggle with it all their lives.

I have often wondered where this discrimination stems from. Maybe from colonial India where the fair skinned ruled us. Actually the notion originated even before the Brits came. People of superior social status were fair and those involved in manual labor worked hard in the sun and were dark. This obsession with fair complexion has lasted to this day and has spawned a multi-crore fairness business with a horde of beauty products in the market.

Even today fairness is synonymous with beauty in our country, specially for females who are ironically called the ‘fairer sex’ and maybe that is why, have to live up to the adage. Have a look at any matrimonial advertisement and you will realize that every prospective groom wants a fair bride. Things have changed to some extent in certain parts of society, maybe with lots of dusky actresses having rocked the screen. But in most parts of our country, the differentiation continues.

“I could not relate beauty to fairness. I have seen beautiful women who are dusky and wheatish,” said Dipannita Sharma, a supermodel who refused to endorse a fairness cream early in her career. I couldn’t have agreed more. My complexion is a part of my individuality and I’m content with it. Yes- dark is my color, but it is the color of my skin, not the color of my heart.

Happy Mother's Day

 "God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers". How true!

 The second Sunday of May is celebrated in many parts of the world as mother's day. It's a day dedicated to motherhood. Mother– the loveliest creation of God, whom he bestowed with the power to bring a new life into this world. She is the one who can be soft and gentle to tender to her little one, but at the same time she can be strong and powerful to protect her family from harm.

Most of us would agree that a mother has the strongest influence in our lives. She imbibes in us, all the values of life that make us the person we are. She bears many hardships in life for the welfare of her children. Family happiness is the highest priority in her life. She spends sleepless nights caressing sick toddlers in arms, singing lullabies and reading out fairy tales to her kids after a hard day's work. Numerous times she has sacrificed her wishes for the sake of her kids- opting for the circus instead of the movie theatre or choosing cartoon network over daily soaps, the fancy dress over a kitty party- all with a smile. She has to play many roles as a mother– she is a friend, soul mate, teacher, doctor, agony aunt – all in one.

She has taught us everything from brushing our teeth to reading and writing, from tying shoe laces to table manners- we are but a reflection of her. She cares gently for her sick child, but is the strict disciplinarian when he does something wrong. However old we may grow, for them we are the little one she brought into the world and she will always love us and care of us in the same way as she did when she first took us in her arms.

Their contribution to the society is huge and immeasurable. Mothers are the true builders of society since they have the greatest influence in crafting the future generation. Hence their job is very demanding and one of huge responsibility. It is all the more difficult for the modern mother who juggles between office meetings and school homework, putting in that extra effort each day to balance her ambitions and her home.

She is the epitome of love and care, willpower and determination. She makes uncountable sacrifices for her family day in and day out without raising an eyebrow. A mother does so much for her children, the least one can do is acknowledge her hard work and her selfless love. Although I don't have my mother anymore to reach out to, I can still feel her fragrance, her love and I cherish memories of all the time I spent with her. So this goes out to all the moms- “Thank You and a very happy mother's day!”

EPL - Education Premiere League

Along with the IPL excitement, it's also time for EPL or Education Premiere League - the time of the year when students make the transition from school to college. I see the kids around me all busy with college admission forms and entrance exams and their parents all anxious about which college they would manage to get into.

Surprisingly, things haven't changed much since I started college about a decade ago. Even today 'Engineering' and 'Medical' are the most coveted professions and students and their guardians would do anything to get into an engineering/medical college. A failure to get into this premiere league leads to utter depression and despair for parents and candidates alike. Some parents think its the end of the world and their wards can no longer have a secure future. In many cases they insist their children take a year off from college and prepare again for the entrance exams. I don't blame them completely though- with these being degrees that can secure your life and give you financial stability and social recognition- no doubt it is the most safe bet.
What we all miss out here is to identify the candidate's interest and aptitude.The result being that whereas we have a huge number of engineers dissatisfied with their monotonous jobs, we lose out on good artists, photographers,writers and the like.
Reasons are many - lack of knowledge about these alternate professions among the parents and their wards, lack of professional counselling in identifying their skills, where they fit in best and what professional courses are available for them. Another factor is that whereas engineering and management colleges are mushrooming in every nook and corner, it's very difficult to find a good art or photography course.
I would agree that the situation has improved in metros and A tier cities, with people becoming a little more open about these 'non-conventional' career options. In smaller cities, like the one I come from, these are still taboo. Anyone who wants to become a photographer, artist, journalist or the like, is branded useless with no future and all attempts are made to discourage him/her.
India really needs a change in its perspective so that people feel free to do what they really want to and have enough opportunities to pursue their dreams.